Let's give the people what they want.

Good morning all my devoted fans!

Seeing as the human didn't bother to introduce me I thought I would take it upon myself, after all we all know that you all came to see me.

I am the most important cat in the world, or at least in my house. I get the best sleeping spot, play with the best toys and eat the best food. I'm like a god.

Oh yeah my name is Olle, arn't I handsome.



I live with my two adopted sisters, Lola and Nala. What I can I say about them really, there girls, there annoying but I put up with them.

Lola isn't too bad actually, she's a bit dim though. The other day I caught her eating from a bowl on the floor!! Surely every cat knows that you only eat from the human bowls, preferbly whilst they are eating, they like sharing food.

She also is a bit of an attention seeker, she is waaayyy to comfortable with the humans that visit, especially the small nosiy one's. I personally think they should get a good scratch on their nose. After all do you see cat's allowing their young to pull the tails off humans and pick them up. Saying that I've never noticed a human with a tail ........ I wonder if that's because they all got pulled off!

I would show you her but she's camera shy at the moment.

Nala my younger sister is a bit of a loose canon. She is what they call a 'posh puss' which I think means she comes from another planet. Nala thinks she is very beautiful and is always posing and showing off, it really annoys me. Everyone know's i'm the most handsome cat in the world.

She is also a bit of a grump, I think she has 'woman's problems'. At least that what the human says she has every time we see her screaming and shouting. We have learnt that chocolate is a great cure for the dreaded ' woman's problems' as the human is much nicer after it. I gave some chocolate to Nala one day in the hope it would cheer her up but it just gave her a poorly tummy, and boy was she mad then!

Anyway here is Nala, I am sure you will all agree that I am much more handsome. In fact that long fur she always boasts about just makes her look fat. you hear that Nala, you look like a tubs!



We cats also share our home with one more thing ........ a terrible, horrible evil thing .......... enemy to cats all over the world .......... It's big ........ It has big teeth .......... and it smells disgusiting!

It's the dog!!

I hate the dog and I hate my human for even thinking about allowing a dog to live here, in MY home. I've been punishing that human ever since. I'll show her how bad a dog is.

I have been coming up with cunning ways to get the dog in trouble and then maybe she will take him to the pound, I hear that's where all the naughty dogs go. Well so they should! Who do dogs think they are coming into homes and chasing us cats. We were here first you know!

Anyway the other day when the human was out hunting for food I decided that I would make the human really mad at the dog. I spotted the television remote high up on a shelf and knowing how much the human likes television I thought she would be very cross if she lost her remote.

I told the dog to eat it, pretended it was made from delicious chicken but he couldn't reach, stupid dumb dog can't even climb. Anyway I jumped up, knocked it onto the floor and it got chewed, victory!

OH MY you should have seen the human when she got home. It was all 'bad dog' and 'naughty dog'. I watched the whole show from my bed sniggering away. I even started packing the dog toys ready for his new home at the pound but it all went wrong!

The human didn't take him to the pound, she let him stay!!! Apparantly it's not his fault because he's teething, what complete nonsense!

Cat's teethe do we chew everything in view? and human babies teethe, how many times have you had to tell them off for chewing on a table leg?. I'll willing to bet not very often. So why does this over-grown, smelly, drooling beast get away with it? God only knows but one day I will defeat him!

Anyway I will leave you all now, it's a busy day for a cat you know. I have to plan world domination, find new ways to keep the human busy, tease the dog and still fit in 18 hours of sleep. I don't know how I do it, I really don't.